


Itteh Bitteh Whedonland Fic

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Firefly
Genre: Challenge Response, Community: whedonland, Dialogue-Only, Episode Tag, F/F, F/M, Gen, Geniuses, Haiku, Insanity, One Sentence Ficlet meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-19
Updated: 2012-05-07
Packaged: 2017-10-22 01:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short, > 100 word fic from Whedonland challenges</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 26 Words - Buffy/Spike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge: 26 Words - write a fic 26 words long, each word starting with a different letter of the alphabet

"Nine kittens, for this!?!"

"Quahaug juice, Zoea, one gram Viscin, Xanthate… uh, yeah."

"Extortion! Highway robbery!"

"Spike!"

"Willow better appreciate-"

"Calm down, love. I'll pay."

"Meh."

 


	2. Verbose - Firefly and Buffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge: Verbose - Translate a Whedon line into a more verbose version

Fandom: Firefly  
Original Quote: Two by two, hands of blue.  
My Version: In matched duos, as were creatures loaded onto the fabled arc of an early chapter of the holy book of one of the religions of earth that was, they approach in search of escaped test subjects; their digits, palms, and the rest of the extreme ends of their prehensile superior appendages tinted, apparently, in some shade ranging between cerulean and indigo.

Fandom: Buffy  
Original Quote: Sure, we saved the world, I say we party.  
My Version: Affirmative, our assemblage has maintained the natural order of the world and prevented its premature ending; I concur that we should now commence with a celebratory effort more appropriate to my much remarked-upon attire.


	3. One Sentence Fics - All Fandoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge: One Sentence Fics

1\. Wrong  
One of the worst things about being a registered genius who was right all the time was when you predicted the apocalypse; Topher would give anything to have been wrong for once.

2\. Tell Me a Story  
Most of the time, Buffy loved being a big sister, but she hated it when Dawn asked her to tell a story, because none of the stories that the new Slayer could think of ended in a happily ever after.

3\. One Last Request  
Lorne was a bit nervous to be called in to a meeting with Angel, as the vampire had been acting extremely strangely lately, but even he could not have sensed what Angel was about to ask of him.

4\. The Brain  
"The brain is the only part of the body that cannot physically feel pain," River declares one day.

5\. In Memoriam  
In his own estimation, Dr Horrible's greatest invention was a machine that communicated on the same wavelength as deceased spirits did.


	4. 3 Sentence Fic and 575 - River/Kaylee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge: 3 Sentence Fic  
> Challenge: 575 - Write a Haiku

"Waves crash upon the shore with velocity proportionate to that of the tidal flux exerted upon them; we move according to the forces exerted upon us."

It is unusual for River to speak after they make love, and her comment prompts Kaylee to ask, "what?"

"Nothing we can do about it - tidal forces - bodies can't help but crash into each other."

\--0--

Brainpan's not quite right;  
Can't help but feel everyone.  
Have to ask: why me?


	5. Wanted Ad - Dollhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge: Write a wanted ad

09 January, 2004  
Employee needed: Category 5 Scientist  
Applicants must prove PHD level grasp of computer programming and neuroscience; additional degrees a plus. Candidates with a tested IQ below 145 need not apply. Non-linear thinkers are welcomed, but no "free spirits" who cannot work within a highly structured environment. Working well with others preferred, but not a must. Social lives and inter-corporation relationships discouraged. Applicants must be dependable and punctual; no squeamishness or smokers.

To apply, send typed resume and cover letter to Rossom Co Human Resources, care of Adelle DeWitt. A standard Non-Disclosure Agreement will need to be signed once candidate passes initial interview stages.

Those standing firmly on the moral high ground need not apply.

Rossom Co and it's subsidiaries are an equal opportunity employer.


	6. Whedon Haiku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge 7: Write a Whedon Haiku
> 
> (I chose Dollhouse)

Memories ghost through  
Minds overcrowded yet blank.   
Is anyone home?


End file.
